Messy

I'm contemplating a lot of things. It's messy. The truth is not messy, but trying to enact it in the "real" world is.

I want my foundations to be solid so I don't build something that will fall when we get down the road a ways. But how solid is solid enough? If I spend my life only in making the foundation strong, what of the building that is the foundation's purpose?

I want to behave like the part of the body that I am, in submission to all the other parts, yet I don't know where those parts are. Where is the group that has like-minded-ness? Is it a good idea or a bad one to go out alone, without at least one co-laborer? And what of the ends of the earth? If there were a path to walk there, I believe I would start walking today, though the journey should take years.

Yet, simulaneously, I feel that wretched nature at the door, like a disobedient cat, ready to dart inside if I leave the door ajar for the slightest moment.