Opposite of Selfish

The other day we were at the beach walking. As we walked, we became strung out—Mom and sister up ahead, me in the middle, and Dad back a ways—and I took the opportunity to reflect on the Creator while averting my eyes from common temptations that arise in such settings. Then my mind put together the concept that in all things, we under Christ’s new law (which is not really new, but eternal) should be selfless and God’s phrase in Genesis, “It is not good that man should be alone.”


The first concept, that all creatures which have choice should love other with their all their spirit, mind, and emotions, had no loose ends in the newly created world. That is, until the making of the man in flesh. The problem then arose of how could the man properly care for his flesh part without being self-serving and therefore defy the law of the universe?


Self-gratification is illegal in God’s eternal Kingdom, but serving and gratifying God and others is central to His way. I think the Lord God Himself is the personification of this law of love, and demonstrates it in literally everything He says and does, or doesn’t say or do. Silence and not acting at times is the most loving thing He can do for you. And this law transcends all levels of human trinity and Holy Trinity. And the order is always to be first spirit, then mind and emotion, and then lastly, body.


The primary, if not only way to make spiritual love happen is to obey the greatest commandment: Love the Lord you God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. That’s a whole series of blog posts in and of itself. The spirit is to be the ruler of all your other parts. The mind, emotions, and body should answer to the spirit, and the spirit should answer to God.


How to love God and others with your mind is in learning. Study the Word to know God, and hear and remember His testimonies. Meditate on them. Toward fellow people, learn them. What do they know that you can use to point them toward God? What experiences have they had that God has given them to be a light unto their path? Be mindful of their business, and not merely your own. Pray for them. The mind is to be the ruler of the emotions, and the body, but it is to be subject to the spirit as the spirit is subject to God. We are to lean not on our own understanding, but in all things acknowledge Him.


Also, we are to love God and others with our emotions. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. This I could do better at sometimes. When Jesus walked the earth He saw people and had compassion on them. We should be the same. My impulse too often is to turn away when I see someone who has suffered, not because I don’t care, but because I fear trying to feel it with them, and I feel helpless to do something about it. But sadness and despair are not the only emotions. Happiness and Joy serve the spirit and sometimes blow the mind (which is good for it) by reacting correctly to the faithfulness and goodness of God. The emotions rule the body, but are still subject to the mind and spirit, which is under God.


We come to the body. As you may have easily noticed, the way I’m trying to describe it here is completely the reverse of what goes on in the world today. This is because after God created man and his wife in the garden they disobeyed Him and brought into the world a corrupted natural order.


An appropriate word for this order is anti-christ (like an adjective, instead of like a noun). This is immediately apparent today in relationships. “Love at first sight,” is the norm, and then if they randomly arrive at a second date, some emotional ties may form, and then if they are very lucky, they may even learn how to live with one another for a while. (requires mental love) But without Christ, spiritual love cannot happen because, being under Adam who sinned, there spirit is dead. And being dead, it is bringing slow death to their mind, emotions, and body.


But under Christ, the spirit is being revived. And for a short time yet, while this world lasts, I believe a man and a woman together can prove the perfect will of God by fitting the law of love template over their lives together.


I think the original intent in the garden for the creation of woman was to make it possible for the body to be cared for without selfishness being allowed to disrupt the perfect order of the law of love. She was in fact his very own body. She was bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. But, she was a separate person. Paul said this is a great mystery and that, “he who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it.” It is also true that, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” So, her body belongs to him, and also his body belongs to her.


Even (or especially) in small things they are to serve one another in their bodies. For example, she brushes his teeth because it is her job and privilege under the law of love to take care of his teeth. Or he can brush his own teeth (which are hers) under the law of love as a faithful steward of them so that her teeth which are in his mouth (which is hers also) will last as long as they can for her. In the same way all the actions that are taken between them are out of selfless care and love for the other—in body, but also in emotion, mind, and mysteriously, spirit. He should dress the way she wants him to gladly, and for her enjoyment. Likewise, she should dress the way he would enjoy. You can fill in the blanks with all the different ways this is to work in a relationship.


During my musings while walking, I also contemplated some examples of the breaking of the law of love that occur frequently. Not to go too far into this, just consider what’s happening when a man breaks the seventh commandment. He is believing a lie that says this is for him, and he’s stealing what has been given to some other man, but the center of it is that he is putting another god before the Lord God (namely, himself) and assuming the role of giver of all good gifts unto himself.


The law of love does the opposite. It says “I love the Lord God and I believe He is good and is the creator and giver of all good things.” It says “That woman is not mine to look at, but has been given to another man, and I am glad for that man for the good gifts God has given him. Bless the Lord, oh my soul.” The selfless body watches against covetous eyes. The selfless emotions might laugh for joy at that other man’s happiness, and the selfless mind might ponder the mysteries of God displayed between them. The selfless spirit might thank God for the privilege of seeing them and their testimony, and hope in God for the fullness of all joy between them.